ogre's fucked up cornor... i swear im sober lol

so yea... i think im gonna vent in this lil thread just cuz i cant... so yea updates of me shall be here... ill try to make them mostly funny if i can i swear.. under penalty of ummmmmm being dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians... that would be fun though... hmmmm

was wierd... been thinking a bunch... not cool... ok let me paint you something pretty here ok. when i think its not about one thing. it may be one subject but its like... well heres an example ok. right now was thinking about something to drink. now instead of going hmm do i want tea, water, milk ect i do this. wow tea sounds good bbut i drink alot of tea and its not good for you in large ammounts and milk leaves a messed up after taste but its good with peanutbut samitches do i want to eat.. should i eat. when was the last time i ate. would water be good but if i eat it might now go well.... this has gone on far too long

ok so you see im fucked up in the mind sometimes. so yea me thinking never ends up good. well almost never and usually when im thinking its about 100 different things at once and ll the thoughts that side track through them.

so i got really high lastnight and im still up so that today? idk anyways got really high made me think more DAMN!!!!!!!!!! but i was in a good mood so i got stuck playing halo.. when i say stuck i mean i lost track of time and everything one moment its fucking 12am and then is almost 4 lol i got stuck... now im debating on going out of town for today or not... and if i wanna get high to help me sleep tonight...
oh yeah i dont sleep really. i sleep once every couple days. but when i do sleep i crash... and its not cuz of drugs just got alot on my mind but thats a different post... this is long i hope you all like reading lol

well hmmm so yea i got alot going on upstaires and i need to calm down but i cant and i know.. that all this caffine in my tea isnt helping damn it lol. ok ill post more in a lil bit if im still up

so i had to take a piss "sorry i know tmi but umm it has to be said" and i walk into my bathroom and the window is open lol and the first thing i smell... fucking linguesa... wtf man... someone is cooking something that smeels all kinds of good.. not i want linguesa, bacon, and eggs.. this is all kinds of fuckered up......... my mind prioritizes shit funny i know lol

LMAO dude your mind races worse than mine does, i'm surprised that you don't have a brain attack or something. lol

oh yea lol just wait till i get into an in depth rant on something dude... i freak myself out

so you may have noticed i went inactive for just over a day. had to get out of town. so i went about 30 mins west of my present location. from a town full of mexicans and airibs to a town full of mexicans and airibs lol. not to sounds mean but im tired of people who get mad cuz i dont speak aba aba turka durka jahad mohamid BOOM! lol. but reall i speaak three languages, english, redneck, and drunkenese lol. and one i have to be intoxicated.. and while intoxicated i speak two of them because they are almost the same lol. so i disappeared. no phone. no nothing.... grrness i was bored part of the time. got smoothies lol i am addicted to mango smoothies from baskin robins got really high... made a gravity bong out of a 2liter bottle lol. and tripped out on a smoke detector while laying nekked on a bed with my "friend" lol it looked like R2D2 was sticking out from the ceilling lol...

then my ex got brought up... fuckin bitch. lol but all is good... but iv been thinking alot man... i mean alot.. my mind been in overdrive. like why cant kids just shut up...... dude ok my friends little brother is the most annoying kid ever. i usually have no probs with kids but i wanna kill this one. i spent the night a couple weeks ago out there and i woke up with this kid like half an inch from my face i thought the little fairy was trying to kiss me... first reaction was to quickly plant hand on his face and throw the little bastard... the little bitch started crying... ok hes 5 but stupid.. and noone can hit him really cuz his mom who i used to work with wont let noone... he needs to be beat lol. and he piss' himself on purpos. wtf man.... anywhoo..

so i stayed out there the night cuz we went to dinner hella late then got baked and yea theres no going anywhere after the gravity bong i made lol. and all i wanted was mango smoothies lol.. soo good. but yea ummm... where was i... idk. so after being abused and made fun of and having a pretty good time lol i came home to find out that everything on the homefront is the same. bullshit, lies, drama, and bullshit lol.

but like iv said my mind is in overdrive.. kinda like... well hmmm how to explain... ok here you go.. my phone got shut off ok, didnt have the money to pay it this month but i stil get texts... wtf... so everyone knows my phones off yet they still text me shit WTF!! i dont get it.... i wonder if celebs have any of the problems i do lol. blah... maybe next time ill give you guys insite to the workins of a user lol... naw that would be too short. lolok well untill i think of something to write again take care.

lalalala tooooo much to read

ogre my friend that was some wicked shit you had going on there, i give you props for not puttingthat little pisser head first in the toilet. lol because that is most likely what i would have done if it was me that got woken up by a little pisser. lmao

i thought the little fairy was trying to kiss me... fucking brat lol

who is a fairy???

LMFAO

for reals...cause i want some twinkle dust...lol

can't you buy that stuff at the mall or something? my ex-bitch-wife used to buy that crap there all the time.

dead if oyu want to know who the fairy is then you gotta read that long ass post lol

lol she didn't get that far, i think she fell asleep part way through. lol

alright so the otherday i spazzed out over at my friends house "spent the whole day there" i worked the morning then posted up over there. got high and yea cuz i just wanted to float the day away ya know. so i get home at like oph... 3 am or sumtin like that and i find out my ex stopped by to see me........ the most recent ex that fucked me over big time.. anywho.. so yea i wrote her a message on myspace "thats the only way for me to get ahold of her really since i dont like calling her now" so i got a responce at about midnight.. well she wrote back at like 7 but i was crashed out hard. so yea she says she wants to meet up and talk...... but she wants to talk to me on the phone first... and then she wrote this thing on one of my blogs sayin that she still loves me and wants to be friends as to fix shit between us and then quoted that whole "you dont know what you hav untill its gone" bullshit and yea... kinda fuckered up in my mind... honestly i cant make heads nor tails of whats going on in my mind... fuck man part of me wants o see her and talk to her... another wants to tell her to go fuck the buisness end of a gun and pull the trigger.. and still anopther part wants to hold her and never let go god fucking damn it man... im at a huge cross roads cuz of this...

i know she lied... i mean i know for a fact about a shit load of lies.. and its all stuff she didnt even need to lie about, but i dont want to give up because then ill always think "what if" like "what if this was a chanc for us to come clean on a bunch of shit and fix us and be happily ever after" but i dont want to put myself out there to be a mind fuck yet again... and like i just started talking to my ex.. the only girl iv ever had a "perfect" moment and yea man.. FUCK. and im not one to bitch and mone abotu shit really.. and really im not trying to bitch mos of these posts really are/are going to be just for me to se what is on my mind. to vent to myself but in a place for people to see so it helps them understand how i work inside,

so yea shes spose to come over i think tomarrow. dont know man. not sure whats goign to happen or yea... i have so much to say but dont know how to word it ya know. and i really have nothing to say to her that i havent said already.......................

and i know this is gonna put me in a worse mood... and this sucks cuz i wanted to be in a happy mood cuz for those that dont know which is probably all of you lol, thursday. tomarow is my birthday. and im used to craptastic birthdays... iv only had 3 birthdays that i liked..... im used to being let down and shit but god damn it man. i want to have a good 21st birthday but i dont think thats gonna fucking happen no matter what man. like really im already in a funk cuz of the message i got from her.... sometimes i wish i could just up and move away already... i had a chance to move to texas... didnt take it. didnt feel like it would be a good idea. i wish sometimes that life is as easy to understand as music.... but noone ever said life would be easy, iv always been told it was a hard thing to make it to happiness. never thought it woud like this though..

im sorry for all these entrys being long but i cant describe anything in just a few words. actually i need to rephrase that.. i cant explain anything about my life or whats in my mind with only a few words and soimetimes i get carried away i know but ohwell. thanks for reading

Ogre i am curious about something with this ex of yours, is lying the worst thing that she has done to you or is there more that you didn't tell us about? because if lying is the worst of it, i'd probly say give her another chance. but if she steals an cheats on you as well. well then i'd have to say that is a tough call, i know some people might say everybody deserves another chance. but i say 3 strikes an your out, an if it's lying,cheating an stealing? i'd say bye bye.

no she just lied. if she had ever cheated on me i wouldnt speak to her. thats how i am. no she just started lieing to me and when she started lieing they just kept coming lie upon lie.. i have a feeling shes just trying to fuck with my head again and im not going to let her... well im gonna try and not let her

hmm well if lying is the worst that she did to you, then i'm kind of thinking that you need to think long an hard about what you want to do with this.

yea i have been but you dont understand how my mind works. i live my life by strict honor codes. honor is everything to me. and i for one dont lie i havent told a lie since i was like 8 lol. and that was about leaving the toilet seat up or sumtin lol. now i know thats hard to believe but i just dont lie i have no reason to and i know if i do something i am responcible for my actions. now i do word play very well when i dont want to say something but yet i cant lie ill play with words so its all how you hear it. like before today if i go to a bar and they say "are you 21" or "do i need to card you" ill respond with something like "what do you think, would i come in if i wasnt" or "no you dont need to card me" see and then if they serve me then its their bad not mine.. no lies told. so when im lied to it bugs the shit out of my id rather someone be honest about it all ya know.

well i guess it would depend on what the lies were about an such as that. i don't know the whole story an it's none of my business truely, i was just thinking that lieing to me isn't as bad as cheating on me or stealing from me.

yea well when someone doesnt stop lieing then i loose respect for them and cant trust them

ok so last time i posted was the day before my birthday, im proud to tell you that i actually had a good birthday. saw my ex like i said i was and it was awsome. hung with some frineds got baked... i wanted to be all kinds of fuckered up and i got it. went and saw "The Dark Knight" which was badass. i can see why he went nuts in real life lol. all was good... untill i got home from the movie but since i went to the midnight showing it was techincally the morning after my birthday when it all went to shit.. found out i let my ex play me once a-fucking-gain, and yea its a bunch of bs.

been working at the fair. but not anymore as of lasnight. ill have new pics up soo i belive... lol some that show the redneck in me lol. but iv been really buisy lately cuz of the fair, and helping friends who are showing livestock at the stock yards. been havin a hell of a time lately though.

but yea theres been a bit of drama as of late. dealing with all kinds of bullshit and for the past couple days my ex has been trying to get ahold of me.. she called me this morning and i told her to call back in 20mins. must not of been important cuz she never called back. well im gonna go lay down im tired and worn out. so take care and ill try to pop in here more often

dude i'm glad that you had a better birthday than you thought you might have. it sucks ass nuggets that your ex-girlfriend played you again, i'm sorry to hear that it happend. i've been wondering how things have been going for you, i get a breif messege asking me if i'm online at yahoo, which i'm not. but then after i get it your not there. lol oh well we'll chat again sometime soon.

WTF!!! im gone for a few days..and i miis the ogre!!!LOL